How did you find the time to write this book?

Short Answer: I didn’t.

There were no additional minutes in my day. Certainly no extra hours for writing, editing, revising, formatting, promoting, and releasing a book. No. I did not “find” time.

I stole it.

From sleep, playing with Littles, friends, self-care, talking with my husband… I haven’t watched television in weeks, hell, maybe months. I basically stole from every coffer in my life and exhausted every resource that I had. And, it was often a miserable existence.

Unlike all those famous and wealthy people who are constantly trying to convince you that you can do everything if you just work hard enough, I cannot sugar coat it, most days it just plain sucked. Maybe because I didn’t have access to assistants, personal trainers, nannies or chefs. Maybe because I saw the wear and tear on not just myself, but my husband as well. Maybe because I have nothing to gain by pretending I am juggling the many responsibilities in my life better than I actually am.

Whatever the reason, I want you to know there is absolutely nothing that you can have, without taking away from something else. If I decided I wanted to hang out outside my house, without my family, no matter how needed that experience was, it was still going to cost me quality time with them that is just as valuable. If I cleaned up or cooked after my husband got home, there would be no working out. If I went into my coworking space, the Metaphor Club, on Saturday, there would be no late morning starts, pedicures or trips to see family out of town.
I didn’t “find” time to write this book, I paid for it. With stress, guilt, exhaustion and anxiety. All of which made me question my sanity and worth the entire time.

For full disclosure I do not, have not, and will not ever subscribe to the idea that you need to push yourself to the brink to prove you want your goals bad enough. It disturbs me that we live in a society that does not value lives beyond commerce and capitalism. I’m pro eight hours of sleep a night. I could never have this as my permanent lifestyle, it was a temporary expense. This isn’t about kudos or congratulations. This is to tell you, if you feel like you cannot do and have it all, it is because you can’t. And that is okay. The people who are telling you otherwise aren’t representing themselves or the strain that comes with it accurately.

You may never drink a gallon of water on the same day you have to travel for business.

You may never make Happy Hour on the days you have soccer practice.

If you take that 5am cross-fit class, you might need to go to sleep before 10pm. So, it may take you six months to finish the last season of Power and the internets will likely ruin the ending WAY before you get to see it.

A demanding career may strain your relationships.

A great social life will limit your sleep.

Having children will ELIMINATE your sleep.

Living is going to cost you, significantly. You’re going to have to pay for, and steal time, because it is never on your side. So instead of trying to find time for it all, be aware of how your selections will impact your happiness as much as your prosperity.

This book was worth the extras. But I can only say that now that I am on the other side.

I can say that because I knew this kind of energy investment was never going to be my new normal. This is the last blog I will be writing at the dining table while watching my family rock out to Bohemian Rhapsody in the living room.

It’s time I rejoined the band.

TOXICOLOGY for purchase on Amazon tomorrow.

I may never work hard enough to become a millionaire. But I worked hard on this book. I hope you enjoy it.

I hope you can see the time I put into it.